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Red Flags When Dating: Let’s Not Be Crazy

9/19/2020

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        Welcome to this week’s Blonde Intelligence with me Ms. Roni, where I always seek to give you exquisite cranial repertoire. This week I want to touch on emotional abuse and signs to watch out for when dating. When people think of abuse they commonly think of physical abuse and verbal abuse, but emotional abuse precedes and are a part of both physical and verbal abuse. A perpetrator of emotional abuse can be a parent, spouse, romantic partner, and co-worker/supervisor, or even a child. According to Psychology Today, emotional abuse is gradual and subtle that slowly damages the victim’s confidence and self-esteem in which the recovery period is longer than physical violence. Recently I did a podcast on dating after divorce and one of the points one of the panelists made was, when dating you have to be discerning and look at red flags because the dating scene has changed. Also, you have to be discerning about who you introduce to your children.
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       While reading the article, The Truth About Abusers and What To Do, it says despite the fact the person is expressing love and affection, some red flags of a potential abuser are unwilling to compromise, outburst of anger, rude, critical of you and or family (including children), jealous, possessive, paranoid, and threats. The article also stated that physical violence often does not begin until after marriage or childbirth when its harder to leave. In the article 10 Relationship Red Flags (2014) a partner that doesn’t communicate, immature, can’t be trusted, unliked by friends and family, controlling, secretive, or abusive (emotional, psychological, physical) are indicators that some questions and answers need to critically evaluated.
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       Yet we see a woman or a man get dogged out and never leave. Some will let their own children get abused. Grownups teasing a child until they are crying is abuse. An adult hitting a small child hard as they can is abuse. Telling little boys that they are not supposed to cry is suppressing their feelings is abuse. Recently there was a video on Facebook where a father abused his daughter while his wife recorded it. The wife was talking shit in the background giving instructions on how to abuse his own daughter. Were there not any red flags. If a man or woman hits you or talk to you any kind of way…..how do you think he or she will treat your children when you are not around?  As Sommore said, you have to find out if a ni@@a has a tendency to beat some ass. If you know a person has issues…look at the red flags. Remember emotional abuse precedes other abuse….watch out for the red flags.
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