Welcome to the week’s Blonde Intelligence with me, Ms. Roni, where I always seek to give you exquisite cranial repertoire. Recently I had an interview with a producer and he said something that I found quite interesting. He said that he would rather work with a less talented artist with a positive attitude than a great artist with a negative attitude, nobody wants to work with a stank attitude. My thought was….I wonder do artists realize that, because I too share the producers sentiments. I wrote a blog, Are You Shittin Me or Kiddin Me: The Role of An Artist Manager. In that blog, I referenced another article about red flags to watch out for. (Thanks for the great feedback on the Cali.fm Cali’s Best Radio Station Platform…you rock!!!!). Check that blog out. I bet you are wondering about that new shit on top of old shit…lol…that’s something my mom used to say about bad attitudes….and bad breath….lol. Moving on…
Attitude (Oxford Languages, 2020) a settled way of thinking or feeling, typically reflected in a person's behavior. In the music industry your attitude as an artist is going to determine your path. We all have free will, meaning that the choice is always yours in your career. In psychology there are three categories of attitude which are cognitive, behavioral, and emotional. Within those three categories are four types of attitudes, positive, negative, neutral, and sikken attitudes (Yashavi, 2019). The producer said a less talented artist with a positive attitude…right? What are traits of people with positive attitudes? According to Sasson, 2020, people with positive attitudes would not be stuck in a negative attitude of fear, lack of self-esteem, passivity, will not let failure or obstacles stand in their way, and will always try to find ways to overcome them. People with a positive attitude, view life and challenging situations with confidence and are sure they can deal with them. A person with a positive attitude does not dwell on the problems and difficulties of the past, they learn from past mistakes and move on. People with positive attitudes are easier to get along with (Sasson, 2020).
I remember an executive saying that talent is only 10% of the music business. And if professionals would rather work with a less talented artist with a positive attitude than a great artist with a negative attitude…remember attitude…..and that Spotify had two billion new artists to enter their platform in 2014 alone….hmmm. Executives, producers, label owners, publicists, managers, artists, A&R’s, venue owners, and any other music industry professional….Ms. Roni wants to know what you think…
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ReferencesSasson, R. (2020). Success Conciousness. Retrieved from What Is the Meaning of Positive Attitude – Definitions: https://www.successconsciousness.com/blog/positive-attitude/what-is-the-meaning-of-positive-attitude/#:~:text=A%20positive%20attitude%20is%20mental,they%20spread%20joy%20around%20them.
Yashavi. (2019, December 6). 4 Different Types of Attitudes of People As Per Psychology. Retrieved from Styles at Life: https://stylesatlife.com/articles/types-of-attitudes/
Welcome to this week’s Blonde Intelligence with me, Ms. Roni where I always seek to give you exquisite cranial repertoire. This week’s subject is domestic disputes turned domestic violence. Not to be confused with domestic abuse because there is a difference. I will clarify. Over the past several days I have had discussions with women on their personal experiences with domestic disputes and disturbances. Some of the experiences, I shall say aye yai yai…. First, just what is a domestic dispute?
A domestic dispute is disagreement between a spouse, significant other or family member that escalates to the point of police intervention. Now if the domestic dispute turns physical then it is classified as domestic violence. The official definition of domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over the other partner in an intimate relationship (Hotline, 2020). The subject is strictly isolated episodes not patterns of abuse to be absolutely clear. The point of the matter is, should the police be called and is it domestic violence? Because women can be MrHitDatHoe too.
First Woman’s Experience
Lady One allowed her brother to move into her apartment with her. The first two months he did not have an income, but kept company every day. She spoke with him about his company and eating her food. She shared that in the third month that he came in and threw some money at her and said there’s your money. She picked the money up and slapped him in the face with it. She had to Buster Douglass him. She shared that if his friends had not been there to intervene, he probably would have beat her ass. I asked what were her intentions when she slapped him in the face with the money? Did she consider it domestic violence? Do you?
The Second Woman’s Experience
Lady Two had found out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her. She shared that one day she went to ask him the question at the park where he was playing basketball. She asked him, was he cheating on her with a specific woman in question….. Dude fell out on the ground crying in front of everybody saying that he would never cheat on her. He went on to say he didn't know why anyone would lie on him like that and that she could go ask the woman. Lady Two went to ask the woman and her answer was, yes…. Long story short, later that night she caught them again. As he began to talk he began the lying….her hand laid one down….on his face. I asked her why did she do that….her answer was, I just wanted him to stop lying. Should the police have been called? Again, do you consider this domestic violence?
The Third Woman’s Experience
Lady Three shared an experience of when she was married to an alcoholic. The man had too many drinks and came home drunk. He came and got into bed and after a few minutes she felt something warm. This ninja was urinating in the bed. She pushed him telling him to get up. He was so drunk that he laid naked on the floor and urinated again. The woman got up, got his belt and whooped his ass. Had he called the police when he sobered up would she have been charged? Would you consider this domestic violence?
What do you think about these ladies’ experiences? Remember to Like, Share, Comment, Subscribe or even Disagree with Ms. Roni’s Blonde Intelligence
Domestic abuse is serious. If you need to report domestic abuse call 800-799-7233 for the National Domestic Violence Hotline
Hotline, N. D. (2020). National Domestic Violence Hotline. Retrieved from Abuse Defined: https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/
Did You Forget “Mentanglements”….Stop Lollipoppin Me
Welcome to this week’s Blonde Intelligence with me, Ms. Roni, where I always seek to give you exquisite cranial repertoire. This week I have been gauging men reactions, reading comments and felt a need to discuss “mentanglements”. This is not to discuss anyone in particular, but the reaction from men and the cognitive dissonance on cheating. What I have observed is that is has sparked insecurities in men, but has it sparked men to examine their own behavior? Some comments made by men had me asking……are they inhaling chronic…dank…ganga…skunk…smokin smokin weed….or nah they on that shit out the pot…they got baking soda? Yeah…some comments were straight lollipoppin me. Lollipoppin’, is a term my daddy used that means jiving me, full’o shit, n@gga please. This week I had a friend tell me about a guy she was dating sneaking off getting married on her. Another said her husband wanted to bring another woman to live with them. Children, not child outside the relationship….see…lollipoppin.
According to Psychology Today, men and women see cheating differently and that men are more likely than women to be able to compartmentalize sex and intimate connections. In other words, meaningless sex. In women there is usually an element of intimacy, connection, or love and men are more likely to cheat to satisfy sexual urges with no strings attached (Weiss, 2017). Dr. Powell explains that infidelity is seen as the highest form of disrespect by some men. That some men can’t forgive infidelity because he feels that it is a reflection of him sexually and working it out would be seen as a sign of weakness, especially by friends (Bennett, 2014). The article goes on to inform that if the man’s fragile ego is impaired that it could possibly lead to violent behavior. I read some comments about beating ass and pulling up……
In another article a male participant felt that when a man finds out that his woman has been cheating, he gets mixed emotions; he's angry, sad, jealous, frustrated and he may not know how or who to express his feelings for fear of being ridiculed and his reputation being damaged (Weiss, 2014). How many times have we seen men rag other men in this area? Another participant stated that the man is in a position of power in the relationship and when he is cheated on, it is seen as a betrayal. See this guy is lollopoppin me…. Women will forgive and forgive and forgive again, even when the cheating comes with baggage like extra children (Bennett, 2014).
So, men don’t get emotions about cheating until it’s them that’s being cheated on? Is it then that they realize that it doesn’t feel good when the rabbit got the gun?
“Maybe I deserve…for
you to do all the things I did to you…Maybe I deserve”. (https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tank/maybeideserve.html)
“But silly me, silly me….Ohhh….Tell me how could I ever forget to be your lover” (https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jaheim/putthatwomanfirst.html)
“…All the things I took her through….I shouldn't have lasted this long….when a woman's fed up… then it's too late to talk about it” (https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rkelly/whenawomansfedup.html)
“This star of mine, is my star no more….I did you wrong and this I know…. I can't let you go, I won't let you leave…we’re made to be together” (https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/treysongz/madetobetogether.html)
Hmmm….don’t forget about your mentanglements….lollipoppin ass…you mad….you’ll be alright.
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Bennett, K. (2014, March 31). Men: Why we're so devastated when you cheat. Retrieved from Jamaica Observer: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/men---why-we-re-so-devastated-when-you-cheat_16362503
Weiss, R. (2017, July 10). Why Men and Women See Infidelity So Differently. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201707/why-men-and-women-see-infidelity-so-differently
“ It’s not that I don’t enjoy your music…It’s just that I feel like I’ve heard your music before.
I keep wondering what the real Ray Charles sound like….who’s he…nobody if you don’t know”
Bea to Ray (Hackford, 2004).
Welcome to this week’s Blonde Intelligence with me, Ms. Roni, where I always seek to give you exquisite cranial repertoire. I was browsing on YouTube and saw someone that uploaded a creation and it said “Drake Type Beat”. I was like a what??? You know me, I decided to ask and put it out there. This week I spoke with a producer and I asked the question what is a “Drake Style Beat”, he laughed and said ion’ know, but you’re going to make some ni@@as mad. My honest question is, how can you be original, being a replica? And the question remains what the f@ck is a “Drake Style Beat”, “Jeezy Style Beat” or a” Lil Wayne Beat”? So, I asked a local independent artist and he also laughed, but described it as a beat that he might do a song to…so I asked, is this based off of a previous song or what someone thinks he might do? The answer I got was….ion’ know, but I see that a lot.
According to Google dictionary, a signature is a distinctive pattern, product, or characteristic by which someone or something can be identified. The keywords were distinctive, characteristics, and identified. A sound is the vibration that reaches a person’s ear by continuous and regular vibrations. So, your sound should have your distinctive pattern and characteristics that identify you…right? According to Weiss (2018) a signature sound is a set of attributes in someone’s music that identifies the artist or producer. Your signature sound is your sauce. Weiss states that a signature sound is derived from three places. Those places are your influencers, your natural tendencies, and your preferences. Notice all three are plural. Weiss also informs that imitating is a no-no and emulating is a must in finding your own sense of style. Is your sauce drippin’, are you authentic or knock off, do your biscuits melt like butter? Don’t have people wondering WTF is a Drake Style Beat…display your signature sound….who are you? Nobody if you don’t know.
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Hackford, T. (Director). (2004). Ray [Motion Picture].
Weiss, M. (2018, March 24). Finding Your Signature Sound. Retrieved from Pro Audio Files: https://theproaudiofiles.com/finding-your-signature-sound/
“…Black Women are beautiful. The media has reduced them to nothing but booty walking around, but Black Women are more than that. They are friends, lovers, and the mothers of civilization” (Natalie, 2008).
Welcome to this week’s Blonde Intelligence where I always seek to provide you with exquisite cranial repertoire. I feel that as grown women and being the mothers of civilization, we have to protect our young ladies. You have heard many say that what the industry and media portray affects our black girls. At times people do things and follow trends simply because they did not know. Have we really taught our young ladies what Black Queens are or have we left it to media? When I was growing up, I got up every Saturday morning to watch Teen Summit on BET. I learned that my black has always been beautiful and that Black Girls Rocked way back then, and that my creative talent should be expressed on the highest level. I listened to Yo Yo say “my name is Yo Yo, I’m not a ho”. Queen Latifah asking people…who are you calling a bitch? But my my my how things have changed…
According to Urban Dictionary, a Black Queen is a beautiful, respected African American woman that is confident and selfless. Now we will move on to the “$40”. Urban Dictionary explains that 40 or 50 is described on the hoe stroll as $40 for head and $50 for the warm apple pie. Black Queen and hoe stroll don’t blend well, but yet….some are trying to make that oil, water, and bleach mixture. Now I know you are wondering about the sex magick. Sex magick in simple terms are rituals and practices utilizing the energy from orgasms for manifestations. So, in essence this person who calls themselves a queen only manifests $40 from her sexual energy? Ummmm….let’s not glorify that. There are different levels of manifestations. Example: I’m going to have sex with Tom to buy me a pair of shoes, Harry to get some hair, Dick to get my nails done, Bob to buy me a car, and Dummy to buy me a house. All of these manifestations will be based on sex magick, either positive or negative.
Now I do realize that young people face depression, suffer from anxiety, and in blacks are normally not diagnosed. Binge drinking, smoking, illicit drug use, and prescription drug misuse are more frequent among Black and African Americans, who deal with these issues (https://www.mhanational.org/issues/black-and-african-american-communities-and-mental-health). And girls with those issues more sexually promiscuous. We hear it in the music and see it in the media. Women who have multiple sex partners also have a higher rate of substance abuse (Whitbourne, 2013). We see it all the time, girls gone off pills, drunk, snorting….all of those things to get ready for that sexual transfer of energy distorting the Black Queen. We have to show our young women how to be Black Queens. Remember to maintain your temple. Black Queen-$40-Sex Majick-Huhh???
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Natalie, B. B. (2008, September 14). Black Woman. Retrieved from Urban Dictionary: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Black%20Woman
Whitbourne, S. K. (2013). The Long-Term Psychological Effects of Multiple Sex Partners. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201304/the-long-term-psychological-effects-multiple-sex-partners