“Black women are so unprotected” Megan Thee Stallion
Welcome to this week’s Blonde Intelligence with me, Ms. Roni, where I always seek to give you exquisite cranial repertoire. This week I want to dig a little into how Black Men actually treat Black Women. I interviewed several men and women on their definition of what a “good man” is. It seems that men equate being a good man to having assets. Whereas women look at the emotional aspects of the male personality. One man deemed himself as a good man because he had a career, a pension, took care of his children, had a home, and was independent. But that same man has a woman that he talks to out of state, two women on opposite sides of town, and a roommate that he sleeps with sometimes. See, all of the assets that he feels deem him as a good man….but what does his actions say? And he is doing this to Black Women….
According to the Good Man Project (2018) a good man is secure, not arrogant, he treats everyone with respect until given a reason not to, he is loyal and a man of his word. He is a protector and takes responsibilities for his actions. A good man expresses his emotions and doesn’t hold stereotypes. Last week I touched on emotional abuse and provided some red flags to look for, but we need to look at the everyday emotional abuse of Black Women specifically at the hands of Black Men. We always hear Black Men say that a Black Woman is supposed to be his peace, but what peace is being provided to her? According to Bromell (2020) Black Women’s obligation of defending and protecting Black Men is not reciprocated in the same manner. Look how our Black Women are referred to in music. I got a song to review and every other sentence was about what he was going to tell that bitch to do and what this bitch did. I had to tell him…you know that you were submitting to a woman….right? The problem is that he did know that he was submitting to a woman, but the mistreatment of Black Women has become so common that he did not see his faux pas.
It seems that respect for Black Women is not given, Black Men will respect a woman because he knows her, but will freely disrespect a Black Woman he doesn’t know. This week I have read so many posts by men on their disagreement in a particular divorce settlement, totally disrespecting a woman that they don’t even know….what the hell? According to www.scholars.org, Black Women are expected to embody strength at all times, even when they are unable to do so. Strength through taking care of the kids, strength through the other woman she found out about, strength through dealing with his low vibrational family members and friends, strength through broken promises, strength through him just up and leaving, strength through him not calling anymore, strength through all the disrespect on so many levels….on top of racism and all other societal pressures.
According to www.ReachOut.com, an emotional abuser’s goal is to undermine another person’s feeling of self-worth and independence. Black Men do you think cheating, lying, using money as leverage, ghosting, not taking responsibility for f@ck ups, verbal abuse, and in some cases physical abuse help build a Black Woman self-worth? Would it build yours as a Black Man? How would it make you feel? Just because you have assets does not give you the freedom to disrespect and emotional abuse the very damn place you seek for your peace. Black Men evaluate your treatment of All Black Women because if your actions and/or words undermine her feelings of self-worth in any situation, it is emotional abuse.
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